Life

Am I Ugly?

The girl looking in the mirror asked, “Am I Ugly?”

The reflection replied, “Yes. You Are.”

The girl looking in the mirror is me. The reflection speaking back are the voices of many. The damage is deep to get over soo soon. Maybe they were just words for the one who spoke but the one to receive them was hard to have it in. And once it was in…it was hard to get out.

That four letter word can break a person’s confidence and heart.

I’ll be very honest with you…be it here or my social media sites, people comment on my pictures saying how beautiful or pretty I look. Little do they know that the person who wrote a ‘Thank You’ comment back really doesnt believe what they say. Yes, I dont believe when people call me pretty or beautiful now because I feel they are just being nice. I accept it but I have hard times believing it.

Why? I dont really know.

This word. UGLY. It kind of took place for the better words for myself. I have come across such words that has changed the way I now look at myself.

UGLY. TOO SKINNY. BLACK AS A COAL. DISGUSTING. DIRTY COLORED. 🙂

Yes I have been a victim to racism. I still get such comments. I got victimised from family and friends. Really close people. There was a time when I didnt like looking at the mirror for how I really felt about myself. I remember scratching myself so that my real skin could vanish and it looked fairer so I could fit in with my friends and family. I would always cry and ask myself “How is it my fault that I was born this way?” However my friend (the one I dedicated a birthday post to) made me realise that it is not the color that really matters. I then stopped paying less attention to such comments. Though it did hurt me. I still do get such comments and when it gets all too much I cry.

I understand the fact that they are just words but they leave a huge mark on someone’s life that it gets hard for them to trust better words about themselves. Especially when you receive them from really really close family and friends.

I was always told that nobody would fall in love with me because I am ugly plus dark. I am 19 now and I have never been in a relationship. Somewhere in the middle I would think that those comments are true  I really have trouble with confidence. It was shattered after the first comment I received about me being dark from someone I never thought would say. I was in class 7 0r 8 and since then those words surrounded me.

I dont know how many days, months, years would it take to gain my confidence back but all I want to say is that please think before you call someone ugly. The one being called is actually beautiful and the one saying it is ugly. This world now looks at people with filters over their eyes. If you look good with the *Retrica Filter* over their eyes then you are meant to be loved. Really? Such people might be beautiful to look at but their insides are the ugliest place ever.

PLEASE PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU SAY!

If those people gave it a thought before they spoke then maybe that little girl sitting on her bed and crying wouldnt be writing this today. 🙂

Processed with VSCO

Think.Before.You.Say.Next.Time. 🙂

Take Care ❤

72 thoughts on “Am I Ugly?”

  1. Hey Deb,you know I have seen people doing this to one another girl,she was from Orissa and so her skin was not that “fair”..but she had the prettiest eyes..trust me!I have seen you..your face is pretty like a dream and smile as beautiful as a fairy.I am not saying all these “nice”things to make you feel good infact I feel your words deeply and I hate how can people call someone Ugly?It raises my temper only..this society is full of people always clicking”selfies”no matter how shallow their souls remain..I am in pain right now to hear all this from you..for you..All those who boast about being”fair”shall see the reality one day,trust me girl.For me..YOU ARE PRETTY!”happy girls are the prettiest”-Audrey Hepburn!Remember that.

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    1. Thank you soo soo much for such beautiful words and encouragements. Blogging surely made me see that there are such people like you. People who click selfies always also puts another filter over it just to cover their *pretty* faces too. The world has become too fake and the ones who try to stay real are being called ugly. And that Audrey Hepburn quote is my favourite 😊 Thank you for your support ❤ plus people from Orissa or South Indians might be dark but they do have amazing features. Really pretty faces. 😊

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  2. Debby i know how u feel, being tanned I’ve had some racist comments before and it really hurts.. but u know wat girl their the one’s who r ugly! Its beauty from the inside that matters. U r beautiful and u need to believe that u r. Look into that mirror and say ” I am beautiful!” Its wat u say to ureself that matters. 💖

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    1. I absolutely agree to what you said. Though it’s really hard to get over it. I try my best but when it gets all too much I just give up. It’s like a nightmare that I can’t forget even if I do its still there behind my head and I am always scared to meet new people. Even when I started blogging I wasn’t sure what people would be like however I am soo thankful I did. It’s like a positive family of my own now. 💕 Thank you soo much and I think you look amazing 💓 seriously I really like your eyes…they are very expressive plus if you’re tanned skin you should be proud because people pay soo much for fake tans and fly over to Greece to get tans. Whereas you are lucky and beautiful 💕😙

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      1. Thanks debby but im in the darker tanned side too so i know how u feel it used to be about colour and now weight. It just doesnt doesnt end..thats how ppl r. Thank u so much for ure kind words 💖 ure a cery sweet girl. Pls dont stop meeting new people or going out it will only makenu more insecure and damage u. Be proud of who u r and and work on ure creativity and talent. There r many gorgeous bollywood stars who r dark but they don’t care and look how successful they r! 😊

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      2. You’re soo right. People will never stop complaining. They tell you about your weight and guess what I am told off for being skinny. Such people are weird and bad weird. And I guess I won’t stop meeting new people. I want to meet more people like you who are soo supportive and kind. Btw my uncle calls me Bipasha Basu of my family 😅😂

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  3. You are really beautiful. Seriously, it is just a myth that fair people look better. If me and one of my closest childhood friend who has slightly a darker shade than me are put side by side. People would still appreciate her beauty. Skin colour doesn’t matter dude. Perception matters and I know how much importance the society gives to it but I know for sure that I also don’t have confidence about the way I look. Believe me society can pin point on anything and everything that they feel like even if it’s not true 🙄🙄

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    1. My cousin sister tells me the same thing. ☺ That people who have darker skin tone actually have good features and if I was born with fairer skin tone today then I wouldn’t look as beautiful as I look with what I already have. I can’t explain how happy I am right now to read such beautiful comments. You people are like a verrry biig supportive family 💚💚 btw I have seen your pictures you look really cute and bubbly 😍💖 thank you soo much for such love and support. Really touched by it. 😊

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  4. Beauty lies within. Our body is just a room for our soul to reside in. Believe me one day your Prince Charming will come who will love you for what you are inside and not outside. I know its easy to say than do it, but just ignore those unnecessary comments and move on. Not everyone have those pretty eyes like yours.👀😊

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    1. Thank you soo much for such motivating words 😊 I sometimes still imagine that my Prince Charming would come and think I am the prettiest of all inside out and it actually makes me happy until those comments haunt me again. I do put those comments aside just that sometimes they become sooo heavy on me that I just give up. However I am sooo thankful to you for such words. It is actually helping me a lot to see the better side of myself. 😊 Thank you ❤

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  5. Being good looking,pretty or beautiful is not the most important thing in life and the one who think that being beautiful is a degree is shallow!

    What happens when we grow old and there are wrinkles all around our faces, thinning hair line,saggy breasts and droopy shoulders ? So what all the beautiful people om the earth gonna do? No plastic surgery can reverse it.

    Being a dark , short Indian I’vegot people telling me all sorts of things to improve my height and lighten my comolexion. My confidence shot to zero . But not anymore.

    People are just people. They’re gonna tell one thing today and another thing next. The fair girl in your class might be getting harassed with comments like “you could have been smarter” and she might be crying herself to sleep due to her lack of intelligence.

    Really we all are just never satisfied with anything. We’re looking for more always. The pretty one’s wants to be smart , the smart one’s want to be pretty. It’s an endless vicious cycle.

    You’re wonderful. You’re choices are tasteful and a woman doesn’t need a man to make her feel beautiful. Infact, I strongly believe a charming personality always steals the show be it dark or fair or whatever.

    Remember opinions are not facts. Concentrate on your personality . Be fearless and take over the WORLD . ☺

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    1. I sooo wish everybody would think like you do. And yes you are very true about that fact that we are never satisfied with what we have. People go thin because once they were called fat and now when they are thin. They are bullied for being skinny. Every word you said will help me heal my damages now and yes sometimes I feel that I don’t need a man for my recognition. There are woman raising more than 1 kid that to all alone and that motivates me that if a woman can raise brilliant kids alone then I can always do something better without a male support. Personality should be the first thing that one should she and that will be enough for that person. Thank you soo soo much for such encouragement and support. It is really helping me to fight back mean words now 😊

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    1. Yes. Obviously how can I forget them. My friend once told me that Rihanna was once asked that she has soo much money then why doesn’t she make herself fairer and she replied “I would never do that because that will change my image. I am not ashamed of how I look today. My color makes me and I am proud of it.” This always comes in my mind when I feel bad. ☺ Thank you once again 😊

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  7. Why do we even bother to listen??? Perhaps those who call others ugly feel inferior or insecure themselves so they need company. I experienced the same thing in my own family and I am not dark skinned. It has taken years for me to undo the damage that has done. My advice to you is shut those voices out because you do not need their toxicity. And those words are not true. Not the truth. Go about your life, enjoy it, pursue your passions, and you will see that you will blossom with your unique beauty. And, yes, you will find someone who will find you beautiful. You just will. Be true to yourself and you will.

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    1. Thank you sooo very much for such beautiful advices. Sharing my thoughts made me feel that I am not alone and that I can get over it just like you. I guess it’s them it need to cut out from my life and add more people like you into my life. I know it’ll take time for my damage to get better but I also know that it won’t last forever now. It is repairable and I will soon be over it and find someone who will love me for who I am. Thank you soo much. Your words are like the first aids to those damages. 😊❤

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  9. Deboleena. There’s no such thing called ideal beauty. No. There is not. Girl with big eyes are beautiful. And same with those with smaller eyes. I have also been a victim of this. From my eyes to hair. My walk to stomach. I was a victim of criticism. Then I realized. I am not here in this world to pleasure people with my beauty. Being ugly is never a crime. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways. Its just that you have to shut your eyes and ears at times. You are beautiful. Accept yourself the way you are. 💟

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    1. Thank you soo much for all this support and love. You are absolutely right. We werent born to impress such people. And yes you are very beautiful and cute to me. And yes the biggest thing is to accept myself the way I am then I guess it wont matter what others would say. 🙂 Thank you once again ❤

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  10. Dear Deboleena…very beautifully u have expressed ur thought but dear never ever underestimate urself…u r at the entrance of ur tenagehood and trust me at this time u will get many such feelings but remember beauti is always the heart of the person not the face and color….and trust me u r very prety..this is not only the wordS dear its true…always be happy DEAR….

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    1. Thank you soo much 🙂 And yes you are right…teenage years are very confusing but fun as well as depressing at times. Though thank you soo much for all the lovely words ❤ Means a lot to me.

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  11. im gona ask you first of all never ever ever say this about yourself even if you are telling someone the story of being called the ‘U’ word. saying anything in the negative about yourself in the sound of your own voice its my belief a person then sets the awful name calling even deeper into their soul. i could tell you i know you are beautiful and your skin is angelic. you have such thick shiny beautiful hair and big deep brown gorgeous eyes. that there is not one thing i could find about you that would be displeasing but truly my words are only that. this coming from a grown woman that has also fought the insecurities from the early age of about 9. close family and classmates wounded me with spiteful mean words i can tell you this with certainty you can and you will heal ❤ i was convinced that i was the ugliest girl that ever lived thanks to my older brother. i look back at photos of me growing up and my face was so pretty i looked like a living doll. its not an easy thing to get over or past but you can do it! and thats the thing it all comes down to self-love you are the only one that can cure this. one day all of their words will fall away from you i promise! xoxoxo ps i feel awful that anyone ever said anything unkind to you. they must have been jealous of how you shine!

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    1. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH ❤ This has made me realllllllly happy! Really really happy. I was literally smiling and had happy tears. ❤ You are a beautiful person…inside out! ❤ I dont know how to express myself but I am going to show this comment to my friend 🙂 Its a shame that you had to go through the same because trust me you look lovely and soo very pretty right now and I wonder how beautiful you would have been when you were younger. 🙂 ❤ Just like you said A Living Doll ❤ Thank you sooooo much 🙂 ❤ This literally made my day ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ and yes I will never ever ask myself that 🙂

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      1. That a girl!! Try with all of your might (trust me youve got alot of that) to hold onto all of these positives that people give to you just as you do the negatives and soon the positives will out weigh those negatives that keep their hold on you. Focus on all the things about you that you love! Decide that you love so many things about yourself! You have the power sweet girl you really truly do! and thank you so much for a the lovely compliments back to me honestly having you here is my pleasure! You Deboleena deserve tears of Joy!! I just so glad that my comment made you happieee! XO! 🙂 ❤ 🙂

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      2. Thank you soo much for this motivation 😊 I really needed this for a long time. Though I kept telling myself but I felt if someone else would tell me that then maybe I’ll be more determined. And now you just did 😊 I am soo glad I found your blog ❤ I am soo lucky to have met a wonderful person like you 😊 Thank you💖 all of this means a lot to me 😊😊

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      3. ty ty ty so much for the kind reply! sometimes we all need inspiration personally i love to be inspired! blogging is a great avenue dont you think? bringing all kinds of people together its just awesome! xoxoo!

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      5. I myself have only been blogging for a couple of months and truly I find so much inspiration and good vibes I just love it!

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      6. It’s been 2 years I have been blogging but I didn’t blog much earlier because I was soo negative about everything but now if I can’t blog a day I feel like somethings missing in my life that day 😊 it really gives good vibes and inspirations

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      7. That is so nice to hear!! I love good vibes! hahhaa! And have ta tell ya that post you put up about the milk and honey bath well i loved it but i think i told you tht part already? i actually found milk and honey Epsom’s salt for my hot baths at night and omg! makes my skin feels soo good and the smell is perfection! you gave me a good reminder of how much i love milk and honey baths! Thank you for that! xoxo!

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  15. Sweetheart breathe, I have been there too, I am a dark skinned girl, so be sure that I’ll be genuine. It’s us, we tell ourselves that fair us beautiful n dark is ugly, don’t do it to yourself. First of all I saw your pictures and the breaking news is, YOU ARE PRETTY. See dear, you are a lot more than the color of your skin, it’s about what you are as a person, how confident you are, go n find some Indian supermodels majority are dark skinned. Be you, admire what you have, if somebody makes you feel bad about any of your assets just know that they are very narrow minded n there’s a problem with their attitude, they judge people by the way they look, you are just fine the way you are, there is nothing wrong with you.
    Dark skin does not make you ugly, its a part of your personality, be proud of it. Read my post ‘dear beautiful brown skinned girl’ and see if it helps you.
    N about relationship, you will get a very loving guy very soon.
    Have an amazing day ahead😘😘

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    1. Thank you soooo soooooooo much ❤ literally such comments make me sooo happy 😊 this is just what one might need every day. Such comments are like big bright life boosters to boost their whole belief system. I would love to read your post as well. Will soon check it out 😊thank you once again ❤😙😙

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  16. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but still, as been said, there are dark skinned supermodels [just like Iman from Somaila (who married David Bowie),] that are beautiful as anything can be. in addition, there’s nothing like feel confident and have selfsteem to look beautiful to other people. And yes, I look at your photos and there’s no doubt to me, You Are beutiful!

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  17. I strongly agree with you! Loving ourselves and watching our words are so important! I grew up in a place where people judging other physical appearance too much. I still think I look ugly and can look better, but not thinking as much as before since I move to different place and have my lovely friends. They help me build my confident a lot. I love them and think they are super beautiful from inside out ❤
    And I think you are very beautiful. I love your smile. I believe confident smile makes everyone beautiful! I am trying my best to build my confident and be as beautiful as you do 🙂

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    1. Firstly I am glad you shifted to a better place 🙂 Friends like them are one’s actual friend. Its lovely to know how they’ve made you fell about yourself. I guess people will always point out something or the other. We should never get affected by them. My physical appearance is what people call a bikini body but I still get comments like you’re soo thin. You should eat more 😀 Some are never satisfied. Love yourself more and you’ll be a beauty in out ❤

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    1. Oh dear. I face the same issue. I am skinny and everybody has a problem with that. But I know as soon as I’ll start gaining weight it would be a problem too. The society is never satisfied. However it’s us. As long as we are happy with ourselves we should never listen to them or else they’ll just make life miserable. Thank you soo much. I am glad that you loved my post.

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